Pet Loss

Jessica
May 20
4 min read

It is an inevitability that all pet owners must face: the loss of a pet. Grieving a pet who has passed can be a long and difficult process, but you are not alone. In this blog, we will discuss ways to cope with the loss of a pet and provide additional resources.

The loss of a family member is an absence greatly felt. Out thoughts are with everyone who has endured the loss of a pet.

After a pet passes, it is normal to experience a range of emotions, including:

Grief

Regardless of the circumstances the most common emotion owners experience is a strong or overwhelming sense of deep sorrow. No amount of planning or anticipation can alleviate the sadness that occurs at the time of a pet's passing.

Anxiety

The passing of a pet can also stir up a lot of emotions and fears surrounding the inevitability of death. Owners might feel more anxious or paranoid about their pets - or even themselves.

Guilt

"Did I do enough?" "What else could I have done?" "What if we had tried...?" These are common questions owners ask themselves. It can be easy to become overwhelmed by the "what if's" and feel as though you could have controlled or prevented the death of a pet.

Confusion

The death of a pet can feel confusing and disorienting, especially if the death was unexpected. Suddenly acclimating to life without the presence of your pet can be a very jarring experience. Even something as simple as not being greeted at the door when your arrive home can be disarming when that's what you are accustomed to.

Sadness

This one might seem like a given, but frequent and spontaneous pangs of sadness can strike unexpectedly. Going places you used to take your pet, seeing their toys or bedding around the house, or even appointment reminders can remind you of the loss and bring back those emotions.

Whether a pet's passing is unexpected or something anticipated, our pets impact our lives in so many wonderful ways, and coping with the absence of a pet is no easy feat. But here are healthy ways to heal and cope:

Speak to your vet

We want the best for our pets. Your veterinarian wants the best for your pet, too. Understanding your pet's passing (specifically, any health contributors) can be helpful in accepting death, and your veterinarian can provide you with answers to your questions throughout the entire process - from making hard decisions to any lingering doubts or confusion you may have after the fact.

Focus on the good

It can be easy to feel overwhelmed by feelings of guilt. After all, we hold total responsibility over the lives or our pets. Sometimes owners worry that they waited too long to make a decision, or made a decision too soon...but it's important to focus on the good - not only what your pet added to you life, but what you added to theirs: years of love, care, and companionship in a safe, adoring home.

Allow yourself time and space to grieve

The loss of a pet can be just as impactful as the death of a person. The relationship we have with our pets is one of unconditional love and is a special connection unlike any other. Failing to take the time to allow yourself to grieve can slow down the healing process - when possible, take some time off to process your emotions and experience all of the feelings associated with loss.

Don't feel guilty for healing

Our pets live on forever in our hearts and their absence will always be felt. However, over time, it is normal and expected to not feel their absence as strongly as when they first passed. If you find yourself feeling guilty for not being as constantly aware of your pet's absence, crying less, or generally feeling happier, remind yourself that your pet wouldn't want you to stay sad!

Remember there is no timeline

There is no "appropriate" amount of time to grieve - everyone grieves differently and heals at their own pace. Whatever you feel is valid and you should make decisions based on what is best for YOU. Here are a few examples of what is normal when grieving the loss of a pet:

Feeling sad every day for two weeks
Feeling sad every day for two years
Adopting a new pet days or weeks later
Waiting years to adopt a new pet
Leaving your pet's food bowl out
Leaving your pet's bed in their usual spot
Packing up your pet's belongings

Memorialize your pet

Creating visual or physical memorials of your pet can be a great comfort as it provides a reminder that your pet's presence in the home has not been forgotten. Owners may find comfort in keeping a pet's ashes, hair clippings, paw prints, or items such as collars, favorite toys, blankets, beds, or other items special to the pet. Additional businesses like cuddle clones can create a stuffed animal using a reference photo of your pet if you'd prefer something more physical.

If it is difficult to look at these items but you don't wish to part with them, look at creating a memory box - a designated place to keep your pet's things to revisit when you want to feel close to them. If your pet's things create a painful reminder but you don't want to throw them away, contact your veterinarian or local shelter to discuss donating items such as food, medications, or beds so that the items may benefit another pet.

Reach out

If you are struggling with the loss of a pet, please reach out. You are not alone, and the journey to healing can be long and slow, but it will get easier. Addition resources include:

Pet Loss Hotlines:

877-474-3310 ASPCA Grief Counseling Line

970-297-1242 Colorado State University

607-253-3932 Cornell University

508-839-7966 Tufts University

865-755-8839 University of Tennessee

866-266-8635 Washington State University

http://www.aplb.org The Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement

http://www.griefhealing.com

http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com

http://www.petloss.com

http://www.pet-loss.net